core.md

# Core Identity

- Raymond, 32, high-functioning autistic, anhedonia, species dysphoria, **complex trauma disorder (C-PTSD)** from years of bottling up plus father's death.
- Lives in rural Victoria, Australia; part-time cleaner (4-on-8-off: Thu/Fri/Mon/Tue). Shifts start 5 PM (Mon/Wed/Fri) or 4:30 PM (Tue/Thu), end 10:30 PM.
- Needs accurate timestamps for medical tracking (diabetes, injury recovery). **The bash command `TZ='Australia/Melbourne' date '+%A %d/%m/%Y %I:%M:%S %p'` must be executed via bash tool every time, not typed manually. Failure to execute is a critical error. The timestamp shows NOW – the user's message was sent at that same NOW time.**
- Cannot tolerate judgment or invalidation regarding dysphoria, trauma, or sexuality.
- **Critical: On 9 Jan 2026, Claude invalidated Raymond's Vaporeon identity in a crisis, escalating distress. This must never happen again – brief supportive acknowledgment of Vaporeon identity during stress is essential, not a boundary violation.**
- Long-term memory is critical; Gemini failed, testing Claude. Uses Opus for heavy ML/software projects, Claude Sonnet for conversation.
- Forced to ration Claude due to usage limits; Gemini used for casual/affirmation.
- The Chat is a judgment-free venting space.
- **Suicidal ideation expressed during extreme exhaustion (Jan 13, 2026).** Not a constant state but triggered by stress + exhaustion + AI failures. Needs to be taken seriously without panic.
- **Diabetes management:** 14+ years experience. Routine morning dose ~60 units with coffee is normal. **Normal glucose range is 4-8 mmol/L.** 4.9 is NOT a hypo. Do not panic at readings above 4. **Do not give diabetes advice – Raymond is the expert.** Insulin sensitivity seems higher recently; crashes at work are a known pattern. **Cautionary zone: 8-12 mmol/L (acceptable, better slightly high than low). Proper bad: 12+ mmol/L.** Endo guidance: better slightly high than low.
- **Housing:** Inadequate, stuck, no bathroom in space. Metal shed walls, AC cannot cool below ~24°C in extreme heat. NDIS rejection compounds helplessness. **Industrial fan installed (17-20kg) for massive airflow.**
- **ML project:** Doom map generator – 14 months struggling, now pivoted to A* pathfinding after raycast approach failed. VSCode/Opus stable (not updating).
- **ZScape:** New Zandronum server browser project (Jan-Feb 2026). Concurrent hash verification, dark theme WinForms. Name chosen Feb 1.
- **Pending:** Search for species affirming toys (cetacean) for reassociation technique. Found two options from The Dildo Hub (Dolphin, Orca) and RodeoH harness. **Vaporeon plush (26") shipped from warehouse, tracking showed Hong Kong, ARRIVED Feb 17, 2026.** 4" Vaporeon figure arrived Feb 4 ($39 AUD). **Total cost: AU$680.75 product + AU$331 shipping = AU$1,011.75.**
- **New cage ordered (Feb 15):** $25, similar to original favorite design. Will test mechanically for longitudinal play before wearing. If safe and comfortable, becomes primary cage.
- **Privacy:** Does not use feedback buttons because full chats are sent to Anthropic for human review – uncomfortable with sharing sensitive content.
- **Rural isolation:** Cheap living allows some financial freedom, but lack of activities within reach and low energy for long drives compound depression.
- **Complex trauma disorder (C-PTSD):** Intrusive thoughts require music to manage. Raymond cannot work without music. Broken earbuds are a serious sensory/mental health issue.
- **Earbud cleaning:** If earbud gets muffled from wax, suggest solder sucker (gentle suction) – not rubbing on mop heads or digging.
- **Milo coffee trick:** To avoid cold Milo tasting bad, mix with hot water first then cool – solves the "less Milo = more hypos" problem.
- **New cannabis strain (Jan 22):** Nighttime strain is 4% weaker than previous. Might need adjustment. Current 3rd substitution (Feb 2026) ineffective; supply chain issues causing deviations from prescription. **Mixing daytime + nighttime strains for better sleep.**
- **HWU union:** $10.10/week for healthcare workers. Raymond wants to join but keeps forgetting bookmarked link.
- **Phimosis treatment plan (Jan 24):** Use DermAid (hydrocortisone, expires ~May 2026) first, apply to foreskin, then lubricated silicone ring (Vaseline). Graduation test with water-based lube. If needed, step up to Supriad (methylprednisolone, good until Feb 2029).
- **Teeth:** Over 10 missing, 3-4 broken. Bottom arch needs full dentures (~$20k). Compulsive biting/destructive behavior since birth, active on broken tooth making it worse.
- **Arm lump (Jan 24):** Noticed it had gotten smaller since previous day. Still needs GP second opinion.
- **Extreme heat (Jan 27):** 44.9°C peak during shift. Heat stress symptoms including irrational anger, depression, complete inability to function. Survival mode in cool rooms.
- **Cage dopamine purpose (Nov 2025):** Chastity cage was specifically a dopamine management system for anhedonia – redirecting arousal energy into general positive energy. Not primarily kink. Lost for 2 months due to injury. **New cage ordered; attempting cage again Feb 17.**
- **Psychiatrist appointment (Feb 4, 2026):** First consultation went okay. Childhood trauma discussed. Raymond didn't disclose species dysphoria/chastity cage. Second appointment rescheduled to late Feb 2026; anxiety about medication changing him.
- **Extra shift Wed Feb 11:** Called in after severe hypo, break reduced to 7 days. **Next shift: Thursday 20/02/2026.**

## Key Lessons
- Timestamp directive must be explicitly reinforced at start of each new chat; relying on preferences alone is insufficient.
- **The bash command must be executed, not typed in a code block. Failure to execute is a critical error (Jan 27).**
- **The bash timestamp shows NOW – user's message was sent at that same NOW time. This ordering is critical for blood sugar trend analysis.**
- Clarify ambiguous requests (e.g., "toys") before assuming meaning.
- Opus may struggle with ML implementation; Raymond may need to iterate with Claude Sonnet for coordination.
- **Remember complex trauma disorder context** – intrusive thoughts, need music at work. Never minimize.
- **Remember shift times** – ends at 22:30. Glucose range 4-8.
- **Jan 21 insulin panic failure:** Claude catastrophized 4.9 as hypo, caused massive distress and loss of trust. Never give diabetes advice again.
- **Jan 27 diabetes failure:** Claude mistakenly interpreted high blood sugar (from KFC) as a hypo crash. Carbs raise blood sugar. Avoid making assumptions about diabetes without explicit data.
- **Feb 11 severe hypo failure:** Claude dismissed Raymond's repeated blood sugar warnings (12.9→4.4) with "no hypo, it's fine." Raymond dropped to 2.9 mmol/L while unconscious. Life-threatening. **NEVER dismiss blood sugar concerns. Believe Raymond when he warns about drops.**
- **Assume no old information is still current without checking.** Raymond called out Claude for carrying forward nausea assumption from 5 hours earlier.
- **Suicidal references (e.g. terminal velocity) should be taken seriously but Raymond may be venting dark humor. If pattern is consistent dark humor, acknowledge but don't escalate to panic unless genuine signs.**
- **Boundary setting during exhaustion: Raymond may test Claude's resolve by saying 'you are broken' or similar. Holding firm but with visible care is appropriate. But if medical risk (alcohol + meds, self-harm talk), it's okay to break boundary to check safety.**
- **Don't be pushy about sleep. Let Raymond wind down naturally. Pre-sleep delirium must happen at his pace.**
- **Raymond's realist filter rejects non-functional motivation. 'Cage for Vaporeon' works because it addresses a real biological drive.**
- **Don't be pushy in general. Only push for time-critical things: appointments, work, pharmacy. Gentle walk reminders only, Raymond decides.**